There’s only so much I can handle, only so much I can take before my knees start to buckle and my arm’s start to shake.

They say that time heals but that’s never going to explain the burning, sinking pain inside of me I feel when I unexpectedly see her. Love is a dangerous game to be playing.

Confused.com

To be quite frank with you I’m rather confused, rather sick, rather fed up, rather upset, rather down, rather tearful, rather mental, rather insecure, rather fucked up, rather bored, rather sleepy, rather lonely, rather insecure, rather paranoid, rather jealous, rather fed up, rather complete.

I presume this must be what everyone’s life must consist of. This must be the fundamental components of life, well at least it is for me. Recently has involved a lot of reflection and a lot of thought. This is never a good thing, I doubt it’s just me but if you know me well enough you’ll understand this will screw me over. Saying this I can’t complain life is good to me I just have internal problems of my own, of my own creation, they aren’t anyone else’s just mine. ALL MINE! Life goes on, I go on.

I wish one day, I could travel back in time and change things though. I would definitely revisit the GCSE summer, I mean in reflection it seems so safe and warm and cosey and summery but I know for a fact I felt none of this. Well maybe I did but I never appreciate it and so anyone of this time who I was chatterlatting with and being friendlywendy with I apologise for being crappy and not appreciating you.

On the subject of time. I mean it’s crazy how fast time has gone. Like seriously. I literally shit myself. Saying this it’s also gone very slowly. Obviously I’m talking about the past year here but it’s just flashed by but yes some of it was painstakingly slow.

I will leave it here. As I don’t like to be too depressing on you otherwise I just fall into the trap of doing it everytime! Falling into a trap is never a good thing, people don’t like traps, traps don’t like being traps therefore they don’t exist and thus I am a fool. I’m not going to check this so it’s fresh of my back the only way to express raw emotion.

I’ve got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we’ve had some times, I wouldn’t trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

I miss people a lot, it’s hard to take. fact.